Maximum Ride: What You DON'T Do
by Disney'sGurl
Summary: Many fanfics tell you what exactly to do in a Maximum Ride story. But, I felt it easier to tell you what NOT to do! Join me as I explain clichés, Mary-sues, and inconsistent writing!


**Hey guys! There have probably always been stories telling you exactly what to do during a Maximum Ride fanfic. But sometimes those people never reach every corner- no offense to those people-, so I figured if I told you what NOT to do, you'd be able to figure out what to do! Got it? No? Ooh well. **

**First, what NOT to do with Max(a mix between the 'flock kicks Max out' stories and the 'Max leaves because she's pregnant' stories)**

**Note: Please do not be offended if something you're not supposed to do, is something you do and/or have done. I actually do these things too!**

* * *

**Max**

I woke up that morning, stretching in a house that I'm not going to tell you about cause the author was way too lazy to figure one out but didn't want to admit it.

I stepped out of my bed, stretching. Oh, you don't know who I am even though this is a fanfic about a book and Im the main character of that so you know who I am but the author felt it would be cooler if I introduced myself like that anyways.

I'm Maximum Ride, but call me Max or I'll kill you because the author has seen this line in so many past popular fanfics they felt their story would be popular too if they said the same line.

Just sayin'.

I have dirty blonde wavy hair, brown wavy hair, honey-blonde hair, blonde hair with pink highlights, and sun-kissed hair. I honestly don't know because James Patterson has inconsistent writing.

The author could have described me a more creative way, but she didn't want to because it takes up too much time.

I put on a black Neon Trees top- and even though I could be into a pop singer, the author LOVES the band Neon Trees, so they felt they could make me love them too. I also wore jean shorts over black leggings and biker boots.

Its very casual in my opinion.

I put on smokey makeup, black eyeliner, lipstick, and curled my hair even though its wavy and the real Max wouldn't wear makeup and would be tired.

I walked downstairs, where Iggy was already cooking breakfast-which happens in about every story- and said good morning. Ill tell you a secret about Iggy, even though you should already know this.

He's blind.

Cue the never-gonna-happen gasps the author was expecting.

Anyways, soon, Gazzy, the next youngest of my 'family' came downstairs. He's called Gazzy for unknown reasons, but since you read the book you know it's because he farts.

And that's all he's known for, cause nobody really seems to care about Gazzy- him getting about the least amount of stories even though even Ella gets more stories than him, and she's less important.

Gazzy began eating pancakes Iggy made, and then Nudge came downstairs. Nudge is called that because she talks a lot and we have to nudge her to be quiet sometimes even though the author could've gave a better reason.

Nudge isn't really important either, all she'll do in this story is talk, give makeovers, and give reasons for me to go shopping. Just like all Gazzy will do in this story is fart.

Their not important even though their major characters, and Iggy is cared about cause the author finds him hot.

All of the sudden I felt breathing on my neck and almost jumped.

It was Fang. He could've came down the stairs too, but since the author loves Fang so much, she decided he should make an entrance over-used.

He's a silent emotionless rock even though in the series he shows plenty of emotion. Fang has shaggy black hair, olive skin, and dark eyes. I could've described the others, but I only care about him.

Then Angel came downstairs.

"Max, I feel you should get out of the flock." Angel said evilly, even though their were plenty of different ways to kick me out of the flock.

"Yeah." Everybody suddenly agreed, even though if this really happened they would've been on my side.

Then the locked me outside of my unknown house and threw my stuff at me, and I took it and flew to a cave- wait,I forgot something you already know by now.

Fang, Iggy, those two other kids, Angel, and I have wings made by evil scientists, but you should know that.

Anyways, I flew to a cave even though the real Max would've flew to my mother Dr. Martinez' house.

And then I cried.

Its cause Im pregnant.

Its highly over-used, but the author wanted more drama.

Fang and I did 'it' one random night cause we felt like it. And now since I was alone I would be a single mother.

* * *

It was ten years later since that six-o-clock in the morning.

I now have a ten year old girl, and even though she could've been a boy, the author loves girls so she chose a girl.

She looks just like Fang but acts like me even though she honestly could look like both of us. Her name is Shaunquisha Bon Bon a Lafayette Ride because the author wanted to be unique. I call her Julie for short.

"Shaunquisha Bon Bon a Lafayette Ride! You're in trouble!" I yelled, and my ten year old girl appeared with and older version of...Fang with her?

"Max?" He said. I gasped, and tried to run away but he grabbed my arm.

"Max." He said again. I gulped.

"Max, who is this. She says she's your daughter." I slowly nodded. Fang hugged me.

"I missed you. The flock split up because Angel was being psycho, but after I killed her we decided split up. And I know this is late, but will you marry me?" And even though in reality I would have to give it time, I nodded, tears spilling out of my eyes.

He hugged me and spun me around.

"And is this my daughter?" Fang asked, pointing to my daughter.

"Her name is Shaunquisha Bon Bon a Lafayette Ride, but everybody calls her Julie." I answered.

"I love that name." Fang answered, "Julie, Im your daddy." Shaunquisha Bon Bon a Lafayette smiled and hugged him.

And that's my story.

* * *

**So, if you want to make a story about Max DO NOT;**

**- Have no location.**

**- Describe Max all at one point.**

**- Spend lots of time on clothing.**

**- Have major characters be unimportant(Gazzy and Nudge).**

**- Have Angel be evil and the flock kick her out, find another way!**

**- Have Max be pregnant, it's annoying, unless its later on in a fanfic.**

**- If Max is a baby, give it a NORMAL name. 'Unique' ones are annoying.**

**Thanks! And review!**

**~ DG**


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